a.funnytimeofyear.com

No one can ever understand the concept of feeling uncomfortable in your own home until you have experienced having a lodger - or in my case, Ãœber Lodger From Hell. If I were to market my lodger and attempt to ship him off to a foreign household, these would be his top selling points:

• My lodger leaves the seat up when he pees - he also doesn’t flush it either, which can be a fruity surprise in a morning rush.

• He’ll neglect to call you by your name, and quite frequently call you by your gender (e.g - “Come over here, boy!”)
• Ãœber Lodger From Hell (ÃœLFH) will also eat large quantities of take away food, daily, so that you can watch him grow in size right before your eyes.
• This duper-caring cool guy will even neglect the fact that you have three small dogs that have already been run over once, and will leave the door wide open for this fun event to happen just again and again!
• Forget maturity! With your own ÃœLFH he’ll make any attempt to get you into trouble by telling on you to your local parent if you dare to say anything that closely resembles the ‘F’ word (but in fact, isn’t.)

So you know what? This is to you, über dickhead of the male species: flush the fucking toilet and get out of my face.

I am so slow sometimes at seeing good films. Monsters Inc. had me giggling at 3:30am this morning with the morning fairies. In other news I have recently been subjected to:

• Rules of Attraction - lots of sex, stereotypes and what I perceived as pathetic representations of teenage life. Thumbs down.

• Blue Crush - don’t even ask. I fell asleep through most of it (that one was just for you, Brighton Boy.
• Maid in Manhattan - OKOK. I must justify this! It is tradition for myself and the girls to see the worst movies around (previous experiences include Santa Clause 2 and About Schmidt).

Entirely unrelated - there is now an antiwar series available which were taken from March 21st/22nd.