Mar 27 2004
After taking a few too many tablets the day before, and drinking a little bit of wine at the pub on Thursday, I passed out outside my favourite club and due to my entirely annihilated state, was consequently banned. What a great way to welcome my guest, Miss P, who has been staying with me for a couple of days. So tonight I’m going to attempt to take it easy. The sexy bitch brought her corset with her and we’ve been playing dirty…
Mar 24 2004
I’m listening to Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse Of The Heart and this poem is playing over and over inside my silent mind.
There is a panther stalks me down:
One day I’ll have my death of him;
His greed has set the woods aflame,
He prowls more lordly than the sun.
What fires run, what craving wakes?
Insatiate, he ransacks the land
Condemned by our ancestral fault,
Crying: blood, let blood be spilt;
Meat must glut his mouth’s raw wound.
Entering the tower of my fears,
I shut my doors on that dark guilt,
I bolt the door, each door I bolt.
Blood quickens, gonging in my ears:
The panther’s tread is on the stairs,
Coming up and up the stairs.
Mar 21 2004
I’ve got some prints of the following images at 10″x15″ which are going for £14 (+£1.50 p&p to UK, £2 for international). So that’s approximately $25 and 20 Euros. I’m absolutely desperate for cash right now (trying to move into a house over Easter but struggling with rent as well as other costs), so if you can help me out by buying any prints (not just of these, but feel free to go through the site and contact me about them!) then I’ll be eternally grateful. Paypal address is d at funnytimeofyear dot com or I accept cheques too (cash at your own risk). Thanks ladies and gents.
Mar 12 2004
The belly series, Green Beard, Boogaloo Stu, Dolly Rocket, Miss Ray and Star, The winner (featuring Star and Stu). Just another crazy night here.
Mar 02 2004
I lay on the warm, pure white duvet, my cold body defrosting by the heated beams of light that refract through the thick windows that separate me from the outside world. Every morning I wake up to the slit of sunlight that slices through the fractional gap in my curtains. It soars across the room splicing the debris on the messy floor, until I give in to daylight and carefully open my broken curtains, welcoming the light of day. Some days it takes me hours until I muster the energy to bring in the light; I sit in the darkness listening to music, the television on mute and the glare of the computer monitor staring at me from across the room. Most mornings I sit on the chilled window-sill in my underwear, early, before the rest of the world wakes up. At 5am I stare across to the church and promise that one day I will go to pray, but each day it escapes me, and my list of unmanageable tasks becomes longer and further unfathomable. My body is restless and I perch myself onto the covered toilet seat, the shower running, with the hot droplets bouncing from the grey tiles onto the veins that run smoothly under my skin.
Today I lay in the glowing whiteness of the sun, stroking my collarbones in the dayglow bleach. My collarbones are thick and I grapple them, tugging them, seeing how far I could go before they snap. They’re the favourite part of my body and in the cold air, I felt goosebumps raise over them from the breeze, but the warmth of the sun soon calmed my skin. I saw the moon appear over the clouds, a three-quarter grey biscuit in the sky, soaring over streaks of flat, translucent grey on the sunny backdrop of a highly missed blue canvas.
(edit: these images look better larger, so click the first one for a bigger view.)
Mar 01 2004
(Whilst I thank photoblogs.org dearly for their feature on me, it severely screwed with my bandwidth. Thanks to my hosting company being unresponsive losers, it took three weeks to get my site online when all it needed was someone to take some more money off of me (as if I’m not poor enough!)
Welcome back. The last couple of weeks have been, as usual, a testing rollercoaster ride in understanding the self and battling the comings and goings that life throws in my general direction. Brighton Boy had numerous haunting nights without each other (much needed), and then sublimely had some pleasant nights fuelled by our love for Dominos pizza and ice cream. It feels funny that a year ago I was talking to this guy online, and somehow we met at a party and he ended up being my boyfriend of a year and three months. We both have so many insecurities, as is expected in a first [gay] relationship and sometimes we drown in them - or perhaps more accurately, drown each other in them. My faith as to whether we can ever ’secure’ these issues is unsteady, and at the moment we kind of tumble along. We are both so lost.
Occy and I were talking of inter-railing it around Europe later this year. My favourite destinations would be firstly around Sweden/Finland/Norway and then move down towards Poland and Hungary. The ticket is a lot more expensive than we anticipated but I do have a left-over gift due from my irresponsible, waste-of-space father who is indebted to his wonderful son. Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.
Here’s a few “positive” images that I’ve been working on for this extremely boring project at uni. I’m sure I’ll post more, but not tonight. What do you think?
(And once again, welcome back.)
