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Leonidas & his darling Spondee. Both equally as hot.

Money? Check!
Passport? Check!
Vast amounts of camera equipment? Check!
Boy clothes? Check!
Girl clothes? Check!
EXCITEMENT? Check!

Off to portugal. Back in a few days!

Mostly exhausted today, but these made me smile…

Amazing things to currently look forward to:

• Portugal! Going on Thursday. It’s going to be so ace, just Evs and I roaming the streets and taking photos. We’re staying two nights in the Pestana Porto hotel, then up in the mountains for another two nights at the Santa Marinha Pousada.. A XII century Augustin convent. It’s gonna be fucking amazing!
• aifol.net) is going to be staying with me whilst he attends his interview at my university. It’s gonna be great being around a hot Greek guy for a week or so. And there shall be many photos (no doubt of me not wearing much clothing?)
• Visiting Catherine for her 21st birthday. I haven’t seen her.. well, I can’t remember how long it’s been. And I’ve never been to Sheffield either!
• Finishing university and moving house (I’m actually excited, for once, about moving house.. How strange!)

• Went to go see a new friend perform at the Sanctuary Café last night. Sweet little venue and damn the girl has such a good voice. Some great covers of Imogen Heap’s.
• Been feeling pretty sick for the last few days though, unable to keep any food down. Clearly trying to ignore it and carry on with my life is not what I needed - rest was! A nice twelve hour sleep.
• Portugal on Thursday! Thoroughly excited. Also thoroughly disorganised.
• Spent some time with J today, wandering along the beach and talking about life, love (cynically) and moving away from Brighton. Made me feel quite optimistic about it all, moving on up to better things.

I guess everyone has to have bad days so they can tell which are the good days. This thought puts me in a better mood, every time.

Sitting on the rooftop of a three story house overlooking the city of London, she wears a stunning red dress, delicately splattered with white poker dots. The sun beams down on us in a perfect moment shared above the world. Moments of silence pass fluidly, in between our conversations of dreams and adoration for each other. In this moment there is nothing but the cool air of spring, the smell of delicious food rising and escaping the house below, and the beautiful evidence of a friendship that will endure anything. We explore with the curiosity of naughty children the attics of this strange house, climbing ladders and crawling through windows far too small for our adult bodies.

The last week has been so amazing. Just such a welcome and much needed break from what’s been going on. Saturday night saw a gang of us attending London’s finest country dancing eve – Sin City – rolling through night buses, discovering parts of London I’ve never visited. Sunday was pure perfection with a proper dinner, perfect company, wonderful photo opportunities, bottles of bubbly and absolutely awful films. G came up to London on Monday which meant much drunkenness and attendance of G-A-Y (I’m sixteen again!). Tuesday was C’s birthday who invited both G & I to see Placebo as her birthday present. Once again, I’m sixteen again. An amazing performance topped off with more debauchery at The Ghetto. Absolutely. Perfection.

Evs and I have been talking about moving in together in London when I graduate. I feel a little bit about Brighton as I did when I moved away from home three years ago. That I’ve exhausted what it has to offer. It feels stale. Not to say that I don’t have good memories of here - it is an absolutely amazing place for someone like me. So diverse, so accepting and it seems to be a place that allows people to discover something about themselves that they never knew before - and in my experience that can be both a good, and bad thing. I really think I have grown so much, matured so much, and overcome a lot of my previous issues due to living in such a rich environment that has offered me exactly what I needed. My frustration with the gay scene, and peoples’ dire need to be accepted by it, is also a small reason for me wanting to leave. I think prior to moving to Brighton I had an understanding of the superficiality of the gay scene, never took it too seriously, and never really expected to make any decent friends from meeting people on the “scene”. And to be honest, I was pretty right. I’ve made friends, of course, but the reality is that I just don’t feel absorbed by it, and these people seem to come and go in accordance to who’s hot and who’s not at the moment. And that’s really not my style. I make friends for the long run. Plus, it’s difficult to get on with your life in such a small city when your ex boyfriend is parading around becoming the town ho bag. Spending this week in London stirred such excitement in me, the desire to explore and share time and experiences with Evs.. I just know it would be magical.

It’s too hard to be B. Boy’s friend. We always fall back into the routine of holding hands, kissing, sex.. just how it would be if we’re back together, and the reality of it is that he has another boyfriend.. So today I let him go, because I’ve been emotionally supporting him for too long and it’s about time that I thought about myself. I can’t keep being in a half relationship - seeing him when he’s lonely. I have needs too, damn it, and they’re not being met!

In the words of Aretha… Sisters are doing it for themselves! And hella yes, this sister is!