September 2007

Growing up I never really liked men. I mean of course I’m gay, but heterosexual men used to scare the life out of me and throughout school I had very few male friends, mostly surrounded by all the girls. Even now I don’t seem to know or socialise with any straight men. Most of my friends are gay (both male and female), except Roger. He’s a straight drag queen. And the kindest man I’ve ever met. An absolute star…

Mama finally sold her house. She’s going to be moving to Cyprus in just six weeks or so. I can only imagine how excited she is. I’ve been thinking of joining her for a short while (must to Hilton’s upset), but we’ll see…

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Last night we went to see Amerie play down at Digital. Got quite drunk just so we could deal with the absolute ghettoness of the place. Big booties bumping around and white girls trying (and I stress trying) to get their groove on. Still, Amerie did touch my hand – twice – and I admit I was just a little (!) star struck. God I’m gay. Anyway, here’s another shot from the asylum:

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Dinner with my parents has never been easy and tonight I found no exception. From distant memories of long, drawn out Chinese meals as a child to awkward conversations and confrontational disagreements, it’s never been something I have longed for. Papa was visiting from France (with a detour via Germany). He’s around for a few days visiting Mama whom, as you may or may not know, has recently been quite ill with her kidney disease and what not. As a treat he decided to drive her down to visit me – a lovely gesture from a reformed delinquent father. I cannot for the life of me think of anything more frustrating than an evening where the subject of the McCanns is the main topic of conversation. Soon we had a McCann rundown (is she alive? Is she dead? Who really knows, or even cares anymore?) A JonBenet Ramsey nostalgia trip, even an “Is OJ Simpson Guilty?” topic rearing its head. We all know I’m pretty dumb when it comes to current affairs topics, so I mostly spent the evening in silence awkwardly reading the little Spanish posters scattered across our tapas restaurant. After a brief JD at my parents’ hotel I decided to skip bail and allow myself the liberty of breathing. I wonder what tomorrow brings with this parental visit?

I’m off to London tomorrow for a few days. That’s if I don’t die on the insanely mundane Megabus. Here’s to poverty!

Hilton

My crazy Papa

Mama

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I have such a frustrating propensity for sporadic food binges. I seem to go days without much of an appetite, easily breezing by on toast and yoghurt, mostly existing on an empty belly. And then boom! It happens. Spaghetti, cous cous, more yoghurt, toast, vegetables, crisps, ham, beans – yet nothing can satisfy my insatiable moans that resonate from my gut. I’ve never been a big eater. Growing up with Mama was mostly a struggle – she’s never been a foodie, so we pretty much existed on a diet of jacket potatos. In fact when I left home my Mama ate so many jacket potatos that she formed some rare blood disorder. Now that’s nutrition for you. Still, I find myself raiding the fridge even for a bag of salad at 2am. Perhaps I’m pregnant? Gherkins, now where’s those gherkins… Still, better stock up on fat reserves, I have a busy few days ahead…

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Here’s a shot from the weekend. The model is Pash, makeup by Sadie. Had such a great weekend just relaxing and playing with the camera. Got some nice shots from both days, both completely different styles.

I really do despair at living in this country sometimes. I know I shouldn’t complain because of course, there are always worse places I could be living, but sometimes the bureaucracy bullshit really drives me insane. I hate to see how terrible the NHS service is whilst my poor Mama is in constant pain, consistently being ignored despite numerous claims of negligence. I can’t wait until she gets better (fingers crossed) and she can start her life in another country. Hopefully her life will consist of sunshine, warm sands, good food and lots of rest. It will be strange not having either of my parents in the UK. I have always been used to my Papa being away (he’s worked abroad since I was a wee boy). Mama has always been so local (although we live a few hours away). It’ll be odd knowing that I have to board a plane just to get that hug that I often need. Still, it’s not all about me!

I’ve been so obsessed with TV things lately: Criminal Minds, The Kill Point and now Ally McBeal (I know, shocking). I guess a bout of unemployment will do that to a boy though…

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